Nothing Will Happen To Me/ We Aren't Friends

This is what I want to know:

Say you're just sitting around at the lunch table with a few friends and this goes down:

Kid: *something stupid*
You: Haha, yeah, but you know, *argument countering the something stupid*
Kid: Well, that could happen, I guess, but *repeats the stupid thing*
You: Hey, hey, it's not the same.
Kid: You're a bitch!
You: There's a shocker, eh?!
Kid: Eh? Are you making fun of me because I'm Canadian?
You: No, that's just something I say!
Kid: You giant whore!

And it really is just something you say now and again. So you leave the table with an "I'm out of here" and a withering look at the annoying kid who thinks he's not as much of an ass as he really is.

But that's not all, because it's only a day or so before you get a text that goes something along the lines of this:

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: from Kid: Just in case i dont tell u enough u mean the world to me! send to ten bestfriends or get bad news tonite.

I have a few problems here.

1) It's clear we don't really like each other, so why are we suddenly "bestfriends?" It's two words, you know. Best friends. 2) Nothing bad is going to happen to me. For once, just once I really would like an ax murderer who has decided on a whim to wield a chainsaw to come into my room at midnight and kill me for not passing on your chain letter, just to add a bit of validity to your claim. I'm honest. 3) It annoys me that that many people have already passed this stupid letter on, have you seen all those Fwds? Ridiculous!

Well, now that I've convinced you I'm a ranting bitch, I'ma go and troll PostSecret or something.

Reese